As we get into peak riding season, there are going to be several things you are going to NOT want to do at your local trailhead. Now…I would think these would be common sense for most mountain bikers, but I see these rules broken almost every weekend as we get out to enjoy the cooler weather and tackier soil conditions.
Hopefully, by getting these out in the open now…I can save you from future heartache and embarrassment. So here they are…the top 5 things NOT to do at your local trail head.
1 – Challenge the guy with an older bike and gigantic calves. – Just because he is on an old, beat up, piece of s#@t…does not mean he can’t completely rip your legs off. If you see an older guy with huge calves just hanging out on an old beat up rig, chances are that his skills far out weigh his appreciation for high end, expensive components. The more you wave your XTR bling in front of his face, the more he wants to completely destroy you on the trail just to prove that the $250 you just spent on a rear derailleur means absolutely nothing! Respect the game.
2 – Leave your bike and gear unattended. – One of two things can happen. 1) Your stuff can get stolen and no one likes that. 2) You leave yourself wide open for your friends to play some kind of joke on you that you are not going to find funny and they are going to find hilarious. It is better to just keep your eyes on your stuff.
3 – Park with just enough room on either side that someone else can’t park. – Most trailheads are gravel parking lots that lack the pretty white lines that you can use as a guide to pull in your motor vehicle in a manner that is efficient for everyone else around you. Don’t be “that guy” and take up more space than is needed. When you go to park, imagine that there are white lines and do not leave just under the width of a car space in between you and the car next to you.
4 – Do ANYTHING that might be considered showing off in the parking lot. – You are going to wreck and everyone else will never let you live it down. Your most spectacular, YouTube worthy mistakes are going to happen when you pull your ego out in the parking lot. You are best off just leaving the stupid moves for the trail. It is a proven fact that mountain bikers have a much higher success rate for stupid activities when there is no camera or audience involved.
5 – Shake the hand of someone who walked into the port-a-potty with a glove on…and came out with it off. – I hope this one can go without explanation…
Any other things that need to be added to this list?